{#44} Swallowed, Sniffed, Snorted, Smoked or Injected

I am glad to say that finally, after almost a month of being one of the most miserable human beings on earth, crying all the time, and being a walking mess, things are starting to work out again. Not really work out, but things are back to the way they used to be before everything happened. And by everything I mean everything that has happened in the last 4 months. Since August. Everything started then. But that is another story for another day. It's mid-November now, twenty-ten is almost gone, and everything is back to the way it was meant to be. No boyfriend, no police, no shit. Well, a little shit. Good shit, though. I'm back to my normal self, saying fuck everyone, screwing everything up and messing shit up. I missed it, not caring. Saying fuck the world. I can't believe I let him change me... but I did because I thought it would be for the better, not for the worst. I did because I was practically screaming to be saved. But that didn't save me, it only hurt me, left me desperate and confused and it didn't leave me nowhere to go. But it's okay now, I understand. I really thought he was too screwed up to love anyone, but he just couldn't love me. And it really is okay. I actually am happy for him, at least one of us got a happy ending. And I'm over it, over the drama, over trying to hate him, and her. Over trying to go back to the past, and over trying to escape from things. So yes. I'm facing everything now. Everything I should have faced years ago. And honestly, there are some things that just don't change. I'm included there.

And I'm glad to say that I'm finally back.