{#42} Survey #2

What are you thinking about?

Nothing really. Some people are just assholes, no matter what.
How many funerals have you been to this year?
None so far.

You get a text at 4 a.m. saying “come outside.” what do you do?
Depends on who it is. Probably ignore it.

Are you in a good mood?
I haven't been in a good mood in so long.

Is it easy to make you smile?
No. It's easy to make me laugh. That doesn't mean I'm happy though.
Are you starting to realize something?
Yes. (Stupid question)

One thing you’re looking forward to?
Mhm. Dying!
Why did you cry the last time you did?
Cause it all hurts so fucking much.

If someone gave you $500, what would you spend it on?
Interesting. Clothes and make up I think.
Are you a neat writer?
Not really.
Who was the last person you cried in front of?
My parents.
Do you wanna see somebody right now?
Yeah but it would be bad to my health.
How often do you talk to this person?
We don't really talk anymore.
Has a rumor been spread about you?
A shitload of rumors have been spread about me. Some of them are true.
Are you an alcoholic?
Maybe.
Where on your body hurts?
Every fucking where.
Do you know anyone who drinks a lot?
Yup. A few people.
Do you always find it cute when guys/girls call you babe/baby?
Nope.
When was the last time you got a hair cut?
September 2009.
Is there a song that every time you hear it, you think of someone?
Yeah. A few songs.
Anything you want right now?
I want him. To love me. Yeah.

If you are being extremely quiet what does that mean?
I might be sad, or mad, or nervous.
Would you say you’re emotionally strong?
NOT AT ALL.
Which is harder, telling someone you love them or that you don’t?
That you do, if you really do. If not, it comes out automatically. I love you I love you I'm in love with you I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Yeah. Fucking liar.
Who did you hang out with last night?
Myself.
Do you love the last girl you were talking to?
Uhm. Not really.
Did you see a girl last night that made you smile?
No.
Have you told anybody you loved them today and meant it?
Nah.
What’s worse: liars or cheaters?
Eugh at both. Seriously. Anyway, to cheat you need to lie. So yeah. Cheaters, then you do both.
Why do people continue to smoke when they know the effects of it?
Cause they don't give a fuck about getting lung cancer and dying. At least I don't.
What is something you wish you had more of?
Happiness.
Are you taller than your mom?
No.
Will your next kiss be a mistake?
All my kisses are.
Do you have to check in with your parents before you go somwhere?
Maybe.
Do you mind being cold?
I don't like being cold. I like being warped in a blanket.
Are you afraid of falling in love?
I'm terrified. Not gonna happen again. Ever. After this, my heart is closed.
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
E v e r y - f u c k i n g - t h i n g
Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize?
Yes, they did. They never really meant it though.
Do you think you are a good person?
No.
Describe your life for the past month in one word?
I don't know if you can really call this life. I'm more of a zombie or a ghost of what I used to be.
Would you get married if you could right now?
No.